Days of frustrations

I keep wondering how much can one person take before the break. I guess for me it is alot. I am still going but today is a struggle. You go through your life going to church, you home school your kids as you feel led, you work hard, you try to bless people, you try to be a good friend to your friends, you have an outlook on life that people are good and honest, and all of it just falls apart.

You discover, that you aren't too sure you believe what you church does, you struggle to home school because you sick sick sick in bed for a month, that no matter how hard you work you just can't get a head, the people you try to bless don't understand and you end up just feeling used and taken advantage of, your friends turn out to not be friends, and you discover that people are not true and honest, that people will lie about you, and then you discover your world is falling apart and you are a broken person.

I have been blessed by this Kim Hill song. It is a blessing to discover that you are not the only person who has felt this way, not that I want anyone to suffer, but you know someone else gets it.

A Million Pieces

She’s crying out tonight
She can’t do this anymore
The pieces that won’t fit
Have her shaken to the core

She’s been hiding from the truth
She’s tried so hard to escape
‘Til there’s nothing left to lose
‘Til there’s nothing left to fake

Another smile, another day
She gives herself away
Cause “pretty is as pretty does”
And pretty will not fuss

She did everything she could
To hide away the pain
To keep her house
The way her mama told her to
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Oh how will she explain?
What do you do with a million pieces?

She’s finally seen the light
That He loves broken things
So, let all the pieces fall
And see what that freedom brings

Another smile, another day
And “pretty does” just walks away
The woman she’s becoming
Is the one that’s real

She did everything she could
To hide away the pain
To keep her house
The way her mama told her to, but
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Oh how will she explain?
What do you do with a million pieces?

I know the plans I have for you
Is such a sweet refrain

She did everything she could
To hide away the pain
To keep her house
The way her mama told her to but
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
This heart won’t be contained
What do you do with a million pieces?


I am struggling. It really looks like we are about to be homeless. Th 21st is our last day with a home. I know God has never failed us and I am sure he has a plan. But when you have 6 children to take care of and provide a home for it becomes harder to not worry. God will provide, He has a plan.

Amy