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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Saturday, August 30, 2008

So on to blogging.........

Alot has been going on. First don't you just love this song. I heard Michael Buble on the radio driving home one night a few months ago. I forgot about him and then heard him again the other day. I love the all these songs he remade. I only added 2 I think, LOL....

Okay Tony is now officially back with Staynlis!!!!! Yeah!!!! Don't get me wrong, I loved Gregory Paul Smith and the other guys from the band, I have all of his songs on my iPod, but Greg just has not had the time for everything, between his family, his job as a worship leader, and the solo shows.... The other news with this is that it looks like the guitarist, Josh Keeling, who was with Greg will also be joining Staynlis. He is awesome and has such a heart for ministry.

I am excited because I have always enjoyed Staynlis's music. And the guys are pretty great and so are all the wives. They are in Kansas City today playing in Rock the Light. Along with lots of other bands. They are pretty popular, my husband gets stopped all the time by people asking about the band. Not sure exactly where the band is headed, but with an awesome message and hearts for God, wherever they go will be awesome.

School has started here again. My Andrew is glad to be back in school. He is the only one who goes to public school, as he need so many special services. I can do alot of things, but I just don't know if I can also be a physical therapist, occupational therapist, a speech therapist, etc.... So for now he is in school. We are homeschooling the others. Me two youngest are somewhat reluctant learners at this point. You would think I was telling them they were being fed to sharks when I mention we need to practice letter, LOL. The older kids are working well and I am thankful for that.

I am really hoping for something big this fall. After the puppies are sold, I will have a chunk saved up and I am hoping to finally open my restaurant/tea room. I have felt such a calling to do this. I adored giving tea parties before. The ladies were all so blessed by it and in turn so was I. The lovely surroundings, the awesome food, if I do say so myself ; ) the other ladies to chat with, the chance to dress up, maybe wear a hat, just to revisit something that is lost alot of the time. I would like to do more with this, I have ideas, I am just not ready post some of them, still refining.

I also plan to have a way to have music every so often and since I have an "in" with some bands around, LOL!!!!! Hospitality is a strong calling for me. I did not used to think it was and then things just fell into place. I had alot of lovely ladies, some who were very strong very intuitive ladies have mentioned that they have really felt the same as I do about what I was felling was a calling. So I am praying for strength and for enough faith in myself, and to keep trusting in God.

Oh yeah, I am trying to get more things ready and plan to reopen Miss Emma's Tidbits, LOL. Not sure when that might be, but hopefully soon.

We are having a picnic in the park with all of my family on Monday. It will be good to get together. Get to see my 4 nieces, and my youngest brother and parents, plus my sisters and their husbands. It should be fun.

Good news next month my brother David will be back from overseas. I am so relieved. My other brother while be there a bit longer, but not too much. I know his wife is anxious. I will just be glad when my two "baby" brothers are back here. Yeah they are both big strong Marines, but they will still forever be my "baby" brothers.

I have risen this morning in a much better frame of mind then I was a few days ago. Today is ripe with possibility. There is always new possibilities with each day. No matter what you are going through, each and every new morning can lead to a better ending that next night. I struggle with this alot. Now I am not kidding myself into thinking that I have the worst life of anyone. I KNOW that is not true. We struggle, and we are in some of those valleys that are so dark. But I do know that God is carrying us through and we WILL get to up out of the dark shadows to the light again. God is good that way.

I was reading the devotion and the Bible this morning and it was about feeling abandoned and orphaned, unheard from and insignificant in this world. And yes I admit I struggle with this. I just feel so often that I am actually invisible. I have always been one to give and give until I have nothing left. I have ended up feeling like no one actually even sees me. There is a movie called What Women Want, with Mel Gibson in it, it is not a kids movie definitely. If you have not seen this movie it ia about a man who has an accident and after it he can now hear women's thoughts, even the female poodles, LOL. In this movie there is a character, a young women who works where he does and she basically is invisible to the rest of the people there. No matter how hard she works no one seems to notice, and only because he can "now" hear her does he even notice. She "says" in her mind that no one would care no one would notice if she killed herself. It all works out in the end, but I KNOW how she feels.

I often wonder how long it would take for people to notice I had died. Not my family of course, but would they eventually notice? Would they care???? Right now with everything going on in my life, we are going to have to move again, my husband was laid off again as again the company he worked for was going under. So due to no fault of his own he are now without a job. He has been looking and putting in applications left and right. So far nothing. Then my church, sigh.... I feel as if I need to either have a major DRUG or ALCOHOL problem for my church to even care enough. If you have these problems at our church they will just bend over backward. I guess I just don't have enough issues.

I was really stressed and having panic attacks and asked our pastors wife to add me to the prayer list THAT day. She just generalized it and said people are not dealing well with news remember them. I never ask for them to pray for me. I won't again. We are 25 miles from our church, we have a suburban, we have no income, think gas here, I got a card saying hope we put them back in our PLANS. Back in our plans, I can't afford to get there.

When my husband was laid off before and we had no income to pay tithe we were sent a filled out bulletin and sermon notes explaining how we were cheating God by not tithing. I was livid, tithing on WHAT???? No income usually means you have ummmm no income. What am I supposed to be tithing on??? You might be wondering why are we still there. Not sure. The world lets us down and even the church can let us done. But I know God is forever there carrying us, even when it feels as if everyone is against us. Even when everything looks dark and bleak down in the valleys, God has us and will carry us up to the light.

A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of wicked. Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.

I trust God and know that what the Bible says is true, so then He will deliver us, he is with us in times of trouble. His angels have charge over us. God will not fail us. Praise God!!!

Today has possibility and tomorrow has even more...... Just gotta hang on!!!! I hope that everyone can see the possibilty in their todays and tomorrows. Have an awesome weekend.


1 comment:

Mygreenearth said...

I'm praying for you...HUGS!!!