What I have been up to!

I have been so busy over the last 3 weeks, well months actually, but especially the last 3 weeks, when I was not working or at church, I was making cakes.

This is a cake for a bridal shower for a young lady at church. I love how this one turned out.
This cupcake was one of 24 for my son Elijah's birthday celebration at school. I love how the colored sugars look on these.
My son Josephs birthday is in July, but we always send treats to celebrate with the class near the end of school, he wanted all sorts of colors on his.
One of two graduation cakes for my bosses daughter. The other was my dark chocolate "I love you" cake, LOL.
One of two graduation cakes for the daughter of a friend from church, the other was my apple spice "Will you marry me" cake... I told people I was going to rename my cakes what people say to me about them... : )
Some whimsical baby shower cupcakes. Polka dots and stripes. The turned out cute although not my favorite, I have to say.


We have also had an igloo cake for my Elijah's birthday, ummmm as I was in the process of decorating it another way, and then he came home and wanted an igloo, it did not turn out exactly well, anyway, it will not be making a preview here, LOL.

Well, spring seems to have sprung, well mostly, LOL.... We have been so busy. We still are not quite settled in. We had sooooo much bad, or uhhh snowy and icy weather that I have not been able, translate that into willing to move my stuff out of storage. I hate the cold. The kids are doing well. Enjoying riding the bus to school now as we live out in the country. There are neighbor kids to play with, forts to build, bikes to ride, and trees to climb. They are pretty content.

We are keeping busy with church and work. My oldest has his first job. During the divorce and the following ummm restructuring is a good word, he was irreplaceable at home, as I worked a second shift job. So he was unable to work previously. He has a job at a restaurant and is doing well. I am so proud of him!!


My second oldest son who is 16 went to prom... EEeeeeeek... What has happened here? Where did time go? Wasn't he just a baby a couple of days ago? David looked so handsome in his tux and Cierra looks so lovely as well. I took some pictures, neither of them was very inclined to let me snap away to my hearts content, LOL... We might have still been there..

I have been busy baking and it looks as if I will have a number of cakes here in May for graduations. My new job is going well. I work hours that the kids are at school. So it is working out well. I am still thoroughly happy at my church and am thankful for the wonderful church family I have there. I have adapted back to this "huge" town, LOL... But after the tiny town of Hillsboro, where I am at now felt really big for quite a long time. Well better head to bed.

Be Blessed
Hugs
Amy

A Valentine Treat

I still do not have my cake decorating stuff out of storage, but the kiddos wanted to make one anyway so we cheated.... It tasted pretty good even without alot of fancy decorations.
Hugs
Amy

Happy Valentines Day

Yes I am reposting this again!! I think that it is worth posting again as it has such a good message...


LOVE

Today is Valentines Day and what do we think of when we think of Valentines Day? Candy maybe, flowers, cards perhaps, jewelry, and of course Love. There are many different kinds of love. For instance there is the love we have for our first huggy toy or blankie, that our parents probably wish they could toss out. Something we never even wanted washed. For us at that point it was a true and everlasting love.

We of course have the love for our pets. A kitty or puppy for some perhaps a lizard or even birds for others. Although personally I do like my pets fuzzy. And of course our love was returned unashamedly and unreservedly by our pets. Isn't that a wonderful love.

Then we often stumbled into puppy love. Awwwww. The love we often have for a childhood friend. Perhaps the person was your best friend or maybe even someone you never ever talked to. Maybe this other person loved you right back. Puppy love can hang on for a long time. Some of these "puppy" loves can last a lifetime. Through all the school years until the can marry and hopefully live happily ever after.

Of course then we grow up, or so we think and we fall in love in high school. This can be so dramatic. I met the young man I dated through high school at church. We hung around for awhile giving each other all of those mushy looks kids can give each other. Kinda hinted around through others that we liked each other. And finally at a Family Church Camp, we were sitting by each other and the preacher said he wanted everyone to hold each others hand for prayer.

Well he took my hand and long story short we dated through high school and then married and had 6 kids. I loved him alot. And I was sorry to have our love end. So now we have the until death do us part love which is strong, compelling, even overwhelming at times. The belonging to and with another person, that's a big thing, and exciting thing a frustrating thing, and then an eventually, sad thing either due to a divorce or the until death do us part stuff comes along.

Okay going on then you have the love for your babies, sigh.... I will never forget the first time I saw my babies sweet little round faces. The sudden and complete falling in love with a little scrap of a person! I never wanted to put them down. I cuddled them all next to me all night until they slept through the night on their own. This is another love that is exciting and often frustrating. As babies become independent toddlers and then go off to school and then become teenagers that all of a sudden know everything and we as parents suddenly become some of the dumbest people on the planet!

We also have the love for our family that is important and changes as we grow. Our parents are everything when we are babies. We do become less dependent on them as we grow, but love them none the less. Now the love for our siblings that is another tough love. Sometimes it does not feel much like love but more like well let's just say extreme dislike. Perhaps your sister kept taking your clothes, or maybe you were kind of mean and teased your sister alot about everything. This doesn't mean we don't love them, just that were kids. We love our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all of who supply us with love. Large games of hid and seek with all the cousins, grandmas hot homemade rolls, the time just spent together because you love each other. What a blessing love for and from our family is.

As we have grown up we find friends along the way. Special friends who can help cheer you up when you need it and who need you to do the same when they have a down day. To have a friend to love you and one to love back is a special thing indeed. To have someone who will put up with you when you can't even put up with yourself, that is an awesome love. I believe God put those special friends there because he knew we needed each other.

As wonderful as all these loves are there is a love that has no comparison. God's love. God's love will never die. He never decides, well Amy did not come to church today so I am not going to care about her anymore. God wants the best for us and loves us so much that He sent His own and only son to die for us. So that we would not have to pay the wages of sin ourselves. A firey burning pit in hell. That's how much He loves us. I know I could never do that. I love you all, but I could not sacrifice my son, my child for you. Sacrifice myself, maybe....

God's love is everlasting. Kids grow up and move away, not that they don't love you but they aren't there everyday to say it. Friends often leave, families get busy, husband or wives may divorce or eventually pass away, but God's love is here forever. No matter how mad at the world we get, or even if we have managed to make the whole rest of the world mad at us, God will love us. No matter what we do we can't make Him hate us. He may hate what we do, but He will love us forever. His arms will always be there. We just have to let Him carry us.

So even if you did not get a dozen roses, a thousand pounds of candy, diamond jewelry, or even if you are alone and think no one cares, you are indeed loved. You are blessed enough to have the best, most awesome, complete, never failing, will never leave you nor forsake you, beyond death, love that you can imagine. The most important love of all, God's Love!!!

Happy Valentines Day.
Hugs
Amy

We have moved

I finally have a home in the country... As soon as I have time I will post some pictures to update.. Oh and I have started a new job as well...... Life is exciting right now... See you soon.
Hugs
Amy

God is good

God is good all the time, He put a song of praise in this heart of mine, God is good all the time, in the darkest night His light will shine, God is good, He's so good, all the time......

I am not going to go deep into it, but it has been a long couple of years, especially the last 8 months. I have been for all intents and purposes homeless since last April. And jobless since last September. Not the best of situations, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt, God had plans for me and my children. And good ones to boot. LOL

This week I have not only been blessed with a job, one that is during the hours my children are at school. That way, I can be home with them, eat dinner with them, help them with homework, and tuck them in at night. The job also has benefits even for those working part time, as I will be. But I also have been blessed with a home, and in the country just like I have wanted. Praise God, and for even 50 less per month then the man originally wanted. He gave this single mama a bit of a break.

It has often been a long dark weary lonely road that I have been traveling over the last couple of years, but I have proclaimed before and will continue to proclaim forever, that GOD HAS ME AND HE WILL NEVER DROP ME....

Be Blessed and stay warm!
Hugs
Amy

Happy Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY TO MY LOVEY, FUNNY, FUN, AMAZING, TALENTED, ADORABLE, SWEET, BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, OUTGOING, AND ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER. I can't believe your fifteen!! Where did the time go? Just yesterday it seems like you were so tiny and cuddly all wrapped in your little pink blanket with bunnies on it. I was so happy when you were born. Just so sweet and pink!!! I am so thankful that God blessed me with you!! I love you Katelynn!!

A time for celebration

This morning I was having a bit of a bad day. Got a text 5 min before I needed to be up. That always frustrates me.... 5 more minutes!!! LOL... I ran behind getting out the door.... I prefer to be at church 30 min early... I just like to sit in the sanctuary, unwind and focus on being ready to worship.

Well, today I did not leave the house until almost the time I like to be there... SIGH..... So after the text, then being late, things just weren't going well. Not all of my children, who are still staying with their dad, were going to be ready to go to church with me. I prefer to have all my precious kiddos with me, and that made me even more frustrated.

So, I am driving down the road and thought okay I need music... I adore music, I sing all the time... My favorite way to get rid of stress is get in the car drive, and turn the music up loud and sing along... : ) I thought YES, music, so I turned on K-Love... and after about 30 seconds I was smiling, singing and saying you know what it does not matter... I still have no solution for a house, I still need some things fixed on my car, I still need a job, I still do not have my kids living with me due to the house, I still have a back that is iffy, my Grandmother is still gone, and I am still divorced, but so what....

Yeah all these things hurt, terribly, I would give about anything to have my Grandmother alive, to hear her voice, see her face, I want a home for my kids and myself and that job. I need to get the car fixed, waiting on tax return, and I would not mind someday being married again. I like having someone else around... Share concerns with, keep my feet warm, LOL. ; )

But what I REALLY mean is this.... I am ALIVE, I can see GODS beautiful creations, I was driving down a street that was lined with trees and had snow filled yards, it was lovely, I have come out of the last 2 years stronger, more alive, more in touch with God, in a better church, with more amazing friends who support me, then I have ever had. I have not given up, I am not going to. I have not fallen apart, I know that sometimes you get so far and you need help for anxiety or depression and I am not knocking that. But I DO NOT need these things, I am better now and have a better relationship with God than I have ever had before in my life.

So this is a time to celebrate!!! I am alive, and GOD lives in me and will carry me through anything that the world can toss at me.

Celebrating
Hugs
Amy

Mr and Mrs Peacock

You know I always used to feel sorry for the peahen. So somber in her coloring, browns, whites, a bit of black, she does have a touch of green around her neck. But she really is quite a sweet little thing.

But honestly she does not have to be a show off. She can sit gracefully watching and waiting, not having apply makeup, have expensive haircuts or designer clothes, LOL, and it is the male who must catch her eye.

With all his bright flashy colors he is quite gorgeous, all those blues and greens. Did you know they shed them? This fella a number of months back had no tail feathers at all. I wonder if he felt naked, exposed or ugly, kinda like we women can tend to do if we must go with out doing our hair or our makeup.

All in all its probably better to be the peahen instead of the peacock. She looks the same one day to the next with her lovely browns and her little crown on her head, that's what those little feathers up there remind me of. Plus she can hid in the brush better. While he has to occasionally become quite plain and with no tail feathers to show off, I wonder if he gets confused. But then I do remind myself, they probably just take it all in stride not wondering about any of it. Why, cause they are exactly what God made them to be and not too darn worried about being something else. I doubt she looks at him enviously and wishes for long green tail feathers. They are most likely happy in their little peacock world. Unlike so many of us who yearn for prettier hair, or better skin, or smaller thighs or larger bust. LOL.... Peacocks are just content, just the way God made them....

My insightful thoughts for today, LOL
Hugs
Amy

My love affair with sunsets....

I adore sunsets. I love the gold ones. The purple and orange and pink ones. I take nearly as many photos of sunsets as I do of chickens and of my children making goofy faces, LOL.
I love the uniqueness of each and every one. The way the light shines through trees.
They are like witnessing a miracle every day. I draw and would love to learn to paint, but I know I could never create such gloriousness as I witness all the time.
God has created so many wonderful things for us to enjoy. That even when I am hurrying home from somewhere if I see a beautiful sunset, I will stop take pictures enjoy it for a few minutes.
I just cant seem to help myself. They seem to be for me a moment to think wow look what God can do. It is such a show of Gods glory and the miraculous, some people may not see it that way, but seriously could you create something that happens every day and make it different and glorious unto its self every day. I don't think I could in fact I know I can't. I drew pictures on the white boards at my previous job, as the seasons changed, and while the residents and the staff at the nursing home enjoyed my pictures, there is no possible way I could have come up with a new totally original design each and every day. God you are just so amazing, to take something that could be mundane in the way that it is an everyday thing and make it special and unique and beautiful.

Be Blessed today and enjoy your sunset.
Hugs
Amy

Winter 2011 has struck...

Winter has finally struck here in our area of Kansas. I had kinda hoped that we might miss it.
This is my Joeybug he was not too thrilled. He wanted to be out and play in it, but not excited about the cold and wet. I think he gets that from mom...
My Elijah... he was enjoying it quite a bit came inside and warmed up for a couple of minutes and then was ready to go again.
Elijah and Chloe, a friend, were in the process of building a castle...
Tossing a snowball...
Filling up the trash can, a clean unused one, again to build another part of the castle. They were ambitious.
I wonder if his little squirrely feet are cold...
I love squirrels as you can probably tell.
Look at his fluffy little self.
Wonder if he found what he was digging for out there....
Obviously no train has been by here today...
Pretty evergreen coated in snow... I love the look of snow on the trees and the landscape. I just don't like having to drive, walk, or work in the snow.
Frozen circle pond. My kiddos thought the water was all gone, but nope it's just frozen and the snow is sitting on top.
I always feel so bad for the ducks, swans and geese this time of the year... I mean their toes have got to be cold right???
Snowy bridge over the frozen pond......Yeah I am sure everyone could have guessed that one. ROFL
A look at the bridge from across the street.

The snow always makes everything so nice and clean looking. Well at least until it all starts to melt and gets dirty... But it covers up all the gunk and brown grass and any trash lying around and makes it look beautiful and perfect. Kinda like Jesus covering our sins... He died for us and that sacrifice covered over all of our junk to make us spotless before God... Not a big revelation I know, but I can see it.. And appreciate the snow... So cool...

Chickens

Okay anyone besides me have a big fascination with chickens? ROFL...... I have recently discovered that I have this fascination... I mean I have always known that I liked chickens..

They are kinda soothing to watch as they wander around quietly looking for things to eat. They are cute and feathery.

They make sweet little clucking sounds. They lay eggs, and well heck even taste good.

They come in so many colors and varieties and sizes... It just amazes me sometimes what God has made.

Chickens are relatively secure in their place in the world I think sometimes, I mean not that they can't be scared but these particular chickens hang out with a pair of gorgeous peacocks.... Shame we can't all be as secure in who we are, ROFL...

And chickens such as this hen are good mothers. This momma has to chicks if you pay close attention. This picture was taken a couple of days ago. She is doing a fantastic job of keeping them safe and warm especially as these chickens roam free on the property. They have no locked up chicken house. What a good momma...

What got me thinking that I really have a big fascination with them is the fact that over the last 8 months I have taken hundreds of pictures of chickens.... Now to be fair if there were herds of horses in the places I hang out I would be taking pictures of them as well... But my subjects have been chickens.

Hope

You know we all struggle from time to time and mostly we can say tomorrow will be better. One day at a time and I can make it. I have been a glass is half full kind of gal most of my life, although I will admit that the last 18 months or so, I have sometimes sounded more like a glass is really empty sort of person. I stopped posting very often, because I did not like how I sounded and that I could not seem to manage to find things to be positive about.

I have often wondered how people can get to a point of just giving up. A couple of years ago, a man I knew to be, at least in my dealings, a kind, generous, smiling man. One who always stopped to say hello if he saw me. One who worked on my truck after I bought it without expecting anything, one who gave me the cattle guard for the front for free 2 weeks later. He had even had a higher offer for it, but had already given his word and a hand shake. That kind of man, who when facing a divorce and loss of his family, did the unthinkable... I was so filled with sorrow, that perhaps he had never known our heavenly Father... Is this why he lost all hope?

And then there are those who's lives keep going wrong, they lose their jobs, their homes, their spouses leave, a child may die, nothing goes right and they too may reach that end of the rope.. I had always figured well they must not have had a church family and a relationship with God. Not that I was pointing a finger mind you and saying SHAME on you... I just could never quite fathom I guess how one can get so low as to lose all their hope.

However, within the past 18 months of my life, my darling Grandmother passed away without any warning really. I lost my husband of 18 years, I lost my time with my children having to enroll them in school and no longer home school and for them being gone to spend time with the NEW family. I lost my home and have been for all intents and purposes, been homeless since April of 2010. In September I was put on leave from my job that I loved and enjoyed, because I could not do the job to the "WRITTEN DESCRIPTION". Although I had never needed to do anything the "WRITTEN DESCRIPTION" said. I eventually had to give a letter of resignation to my work as I could not be cleared by a doctor with my back issues to do said "WRITTEN DESCRIPTION".

I had to move my children out of a town and schools they loved where the teachers were amazing and the principles, awesome Godly men..... People spread lies about me far and wide. I then had to move some of my children in with their dad and his new family, which is so NOT what I wanted, as I still have no home. I am living in a friends basement. And she is moving out at the end of the month. I will shortly have no home........ I still have not found a job that I can do......

I am here to say I now understand how someone can, through no fault of their own end up homeless, helpless and HOPEless...... I have touched upon that awful sense of HOPElessness, and I do have a fantastic amazing church family. I do have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.... And so now my heart breaks that much more for those who have fallen into despair, defeat, doom, and HOPElessness.

Job 30:25-27 25 Have I not wept for those in trouble? Has not my soul grieved for the poor? 26 Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness. 27 The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me.

You know the funny yet not so funny thing about the above verse is, that for awhile when I was struggling, I was trying to keep laughing and I said to someone just call me Amy-Job..... I felt so beat down. Sometimes you need to read more of what you need to be reminded of instead of just where you should be from your devotionals for such and such date.. During some of this my devotionals were in Revelations. And I know it is NOT all doom and gloom for everyone, I am saved, but sometimes reading it was just so hard and way to heavy. So Psalms it is...

Psalm 43 1 Vindicate me, my God, and plead my cause against an unfaithful nation. Rescue me from those who are deceitful and wicked. 2 You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? 3 Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. 4 Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

As well as

Psalm 12 1 Help, LORD, for no one is faithful anymore; those who are loyal have vanished from the human race. 2 Everyone lies to their neighbor; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts. 3 May the LORD silence all flattering lips and every boastful tongue— those who say, “By our tongues we will prevail; our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?” 5 “Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan, I will now arise,” says the LORD. “I will protect them from those who malign them.” 6 And the words of the LORD are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times. 7 You, LORD, will keep the needy safe and will protect us forever from the wicked, 8 who freely strut about when what is vile is honored by the human race.

Now, nothing in here says that my life is going to be grand and easy. But it does say the Lord will protect us, vindicate us. I have witnessed a number of times things in the last year where the situation has turned around someone who had help spread lies, apologized and we smoothed things over. Eventually God rights the wrongs, we just can't lose site of what is MOST important our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Yes, all these things have been huge blows. I will proclaim that loudly. I have hurt, cried, wanted to just not be. But every time, I got off of my face and knees, I looked back toward HIM

Now, I am still facing having no where to be in less than a month. Nothing has changed about my situation, except that again today, I put my eyes on HIM on my Heavenly Father, the one who offers HOPE, who I knows wants the best for me, HIS child, HIS princess and for my children. Why wouldn't HE, what FATHER doesn't want the best for HIS child. But like every parent knows sometimes children have to go through things to grow, to become strong, to be able to be the best they can be. If we never let them fall the could hardly learn to walk much less run...

Be Blessed and remember don't lose hope... We must weather storms to grow strong roots so that we can stand.... The sunny days will come just keep looking up toward our FATHER. He's there just waiting for us to take HIS hand, that's what good daddies do..

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I am hoping that everyone has a very blessed Thanksgiving. I hope we can all reflect today on all of our blessing and about how much we have to be thankful for. While I have struggled alot this last year, I have SOOOO much to be thankful for. I am thankful first and foremost for Gods mercy and grace and the fact that He love me so much He sent His son to die for me, I am thankful for my family and friends, for my 6 wonderful children, that God has kept them healthy!! I am thankful that while we do not yet have our own home we do have somewhere to stay. We have food to eat, the truck is running, and a place to lay our heads. Compared to many in other countries I am rich.... Lord please help me remember to be thankful more often.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

I don't understand

We have been living at what is called Main Street Ministries for what 5 months now. On the 4Th of September they called me down to the office to have a meeting... Well this meeting was to tell me how I am just not doing enough and me being homeless is not enough of a reason to have a home there. Well this is why I moved in. They asked that I go to something called Celebrate Recovery, which I did every time I did not have to work Sunday evening. Besides being homeless, I had nothing else to share.

This I suppose is what ended up being the problem as I had no drug, alcohol, relationship, or other type of problem to share therefore I just was not putting enough into it. I was also told that I am just too self sufficient, WOW when did that become a problem. I managed my money, paid my bills, feed my kids, clothed my kids, saved money to fix car problems. I thought that do these sort of things was a good thing.

I guess what I should have done is went down to the food bank at every opportunity, went to clothing closet every week, begged for rides in their vehicles somewhere and not managed at all oh and made up and lied about big problem that I DON'T have so that they could perhaps then FIX me. The people running it have nit picked and completely made up lies about me in order to justify their actions I suppose.

1. I did not switch around my work hours to avoid the lesson not at Celebrate Recovery I would have had to ask for a change or work hours the month prior to them asking me to even go and that was before I knew I had to go or what it was about. 2. Ummm if allow the lesson book to close while watching the video at the bible study that does not mean I am not paying attention, I just will keep reading if a book is open in front of me and thought I should pay attention to the video, silly me. and number 3. being homeless with 6 kids is a BIG problem, how can someone think that is NOT enough of a problem.

WOW perhaps I am just too sensitive. But then what really gets to me is that they run around to other people in the building talking about me. I guess they told the new girl who just moved in not to listen to anything I say cause I just think they are wrong in making me move out. Frankly, I did not say anything and had no intention of saying anything, until the cult like behaviour and strong suggestions of have no outside life and all the control issues made her start questioning what the heck was going on.

The one that offended me the most had nothing to do with me but telling women who entered their program who are married should not ummmmmm sleep with their own husbands. That it was empowering to live as a single person, and to just focus on themselves and their lives within the building. Also that they want them to get totally away from their past lives and just focus on the activites and stuff with in the building. Hmmmm this one seemed a little bit off to me, but I remember I am just mad cause they are making me move so my point of view could be flawed.

Also it would have been so nice if they could have mentioned this before I spent money enrolling children in school, and paying for P.E. uniforms, yearbooks, driver education, etc.. Now the other big fun thing in my life is I am off work with no pay so have no way to even pay to get into a house. And it does not look like I can get into the doctor until Oct 15Th to find out if I can do the job to its description or if I will be no longer working at my job. So the soonest I may have any paycheck is the beginning of Nov. But hey I will just move right out right now...

So anyway prayers would be fantastic for me, my 6 kids, as well as the other women in the building who have no where else to be and who are being threatened with homelessness if they should have a light on after 11 pm or heaven forbid become any sort of self sufficient.

Amy