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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Friday, September 24, 2010

I don't understand

We have been living at what is called Main Street Ministries for what 5 months now. On the 4Th of September they called me down to the office to have a meeting... Well this meeting was to tell me how I am just not doing enough and me being homeless is not enough of a reason to have a home there. Well this is why I moved in. They asked that I go to something called Celebrate Recovery, which I did every time I did not have to work Sunday evening. Besides being homeless, I had nothing else to share.

This I suppose is what ended up being the problem as I had no drug, alcohol, relationship, or other type of problem to share therefore I just was not putting enough into it. I was also told that I am just too self sufficient, WOW when did that become a problem. I managed my money, paid my bills, feed my kids, clothed my kids, saved money to fix car problems. I thought that do these sort of things was a good thing.

I guess what I should have done is went down to the food bank at every opportunity, went to clothing closet every week, begged for rides in their vehicles somewhere and not managed at all oh and made up and lied about big problem that I DON'T have so that they could perhaps then FIX me. The people running it have nit picked and completely made up lies about me in order to justify their actions I suppose.

1. I did not switch around my work hours to avoid the lesson not at Celebrate Recovery I would have had to ask for a change or work hours the month prior to them asking me to even go and that was before I knew I had to go or what it was about. 2. Ummm if allow the lesson book to close while watching the video at the bible study that does not mean I am not paying attention, I just will keep reading if a book is open in front of me and thought I should pay attention to the video, silly me. and number 3. being homeless with 6 kids is a BIG problem, how can someone think that is NOT enough of a problem.

WOW perhaps I am just too sensitive. But then what really gets to me is that they run around to other people in the building talking about me. I guess they told the new girl who just moved in not to listen to anything I say cause I just think they are wrong in making me move out. Frankly, I did not say anything and had no intention of saying anything, until the cult like behaviour and strong suggestions of have no outside life and all the control issues made her start questioning what the heck was going on.

The one that offended me the most had nothing to do with me but telling women who entered their program who are married should not ummmmmm sleep with their own husbands. That it was empowering to live as a single person, and to just focus on themselves and their lives within the building. Also that they want them to get totally away from their past lives and just focus on the activites and stuff with in the building. Hmmmm this one seemed a little bit off to me, but I remember I am just mad cause they are making me move so my point of view could be flawed.

Also it would have been so nice if they could have mentioned this before I spent money enrolling children in school, and paying for P.E. uniforms, yearbooks, driver education, etc.. Now the other big fun thing in my life is I am off work with no pay so have no way to even pay to get into a house. And it does not look like I can get into the doctor until Oct 15Th to find out if I can do the job to its description or if I will be no longer working at my job. So the soonest I may have any paycheck is the beginning of Nov. But hey I will just move right out right now...

So anyway prayers would be fantastic for me, my 6 kids, as well as the other women in the building who have no where else to be and who are being threatened with homelessness if they should have a light on after 11 pm or heaven forbid become any sort of self sufficient.


1 comment:

Kelly Spezzano said...

hi Amy, for some reason my blogger dashboard has not notified me of your postings so I haven't been by in a while. I think I fixed the problem and should be updated when you post something.

I just wanted to let you know that I think and pray for you often. I wish we were nearby so I could lend a helping hand (it seems that the help being offered has strings attached that no one could possibly bear). I will continue to pray fervently that the Lord will intervene through these trials!