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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Thursday, March 12, 2009

With out God it is just talent, I got the illustration before the lesson

So I had women's group last night. We were bringing in goodies for snacking on, plus it was someone birthday. So I decided I am making lemon squares. I have the best recipe for them. And since I kinda pride, gasp, yes pride myself on my baking and cooking, I am actually trying to look at this a bit different today and I will explain, just bear with me.

So I have made a wonderful looking batch of these bars they smell great and the crumbs tasted good. I need to leave in 20 min. So I am trying to get them out of the pan. I used my pan that has a removable bottom, so that I won't mess any of the bars up taking them out of the pan, I can just pop out the bottom and cut them and then have perfect squares. So I am pushing it out when suddenly it just flies out flips over and SPLAT on the floor it goes. I screamed, I fled, I wept.

I have been so struggling the last few weeks and this was the first time I would have been bringing any of my cooking to this church. And for someone who is a perfectionist by nature, a pleaser by nature, and one who very used to compliments on her cooking and may be a wee bit proud of that, I broke. I have never had something like this happen to me. I ran to my room and just wept. My husband came in and rubbed my back and said he was sorry, and then said well you still have the wraps, and while yes the turkey, bacon, ranch wraps that I make are always a hit, they ARE NOT LEMON BARS. I was so frustrated. I said no the only thing I am good at is this, this is my thing and now it is ruined. I then told him no I don't want to take the wraps, yes pity party, I am not taking anything.

My husband said everyone will love the wraps take them. I sat here in misery a few more minutes. Got up washed my face, I had no time for makeup now, great no make up and a red blotchy nose and face and eyes. SIGH........ I got going grabbed a plate from the china cabinet, cause NO I CAN NOT SERVE OUT OF A STORAGE CONTAINER. Then headed out the door with the wraps, my bible, a journal, and alot of self pity..... As I drove I listened to K-Love and decided to be my usual cheerful self. Decided I would just throw it out there and say Hey you almost got some of my yummy lemon bars, but as they fell on the floor and even though we mopped today with 6 kids and the dogs....... well you probably don't want them now, HAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHA.

So I did everyone laughed and I served the wraps which everyone loved and complimented me on, which I do appreciate made me feel a bit better, remember, pleaser here. But that is not the point of this.

We were studying more then this but the quick point to last nights lesson is how without God our talents are just talents not gifts. And how if we are just using them and not letting God use them through us that they will often fail. My jaw still hurts from hitting the table, LOL. So I sat there with a small little smile of chagrin on my face thinking, Okay God, yes I was using my talents to try to do something not letting you use me. I get it, I guess I needed that lesson. I so often try to do things, because, I can do them, I need to remember to wait on God to use me.

Rats I hate when I get some pruning done. Like I mentioned before in my previous post, I am looking at myself as a plant, perhaps a showy red loud rose bush. That's kinda my speed I love red, I do admit to being thorny sometimes, and yeah I can be a bit showy and loud, but really though it is not in an obnoxious way, I would hope my friends would tell me, and as people seem to like to see me coming, I think I am good. Anyway, last night I had some pruning done, pruning is good. It promotes growth, makes the plant healthier.

But still the human person in me wishes I could have learned this with a stupid batch of cookies...... Oh well, God knows I probably would not have learned it that way.


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