Why does it take trials for me to grow, or the post also known as why oh why am I so dumb, LOL???

I have been not so gently encouraged lately to do some growing in my walk with God. It needed to happen I am the first to admit that. I did read the bible, I prayed, but to be honest it was all kinda half hearted lately. Dear God protect my family and friends keep them safe and healthy. AMEN...

Good things to pray to be sure, but hardly the deep and meaningful conversations that one should be having with their heavenly Father. Pretty sad Amy. This time it took a momentous shock a risk to my family as I know it to push me into growth. My knees hit the floor......... I have never prayed in this way before. I am so thankful for this even though the circumstances are not the best.

I am also catching up on my bible reading. The bible and a couple of devotionals are all I am reading currently. I used to read a book a day. Not anymore they went back to the library. It is amazing now with a different perspective how much more the verses mean to me. I was reading Job 4 the other day, and it served as such a good reminder that God can and does do all these things. These amazing, wonderful, fantastic, miraculous things, how dare I doubt that he can take care of me and this situation no matter what the outcome is God will take care of me.

I also have been trying to keep good Godly music such as my Gregory Paul Smith, Staynlis, Kim Hill, and a number of other Cd's playing. They are helpful in keeping my mood calm and peaceful. When I would just as soon as scream and cry. I just keep reminding myself the joy of the Lord is my strength. And so it is. I realized that a number of years ago. That thanks to the Lord I have the ability to find joy each and every day even when there looks to be little to be joyful about.

I know that God will take care of me and my family no matter what happens. That I am thankful for. I know he will carry me through. So tonight as I sit here weary and struggling, tonight is I guess one of those times when God is doing the carrying me through stuff. Tonight is a tired weary night. I am praying for peace and strength. I pray for continued joy I pray for love to those who say things about me who obviously never bothered to actually get to know me. I pray for a kinds spirit and understanding when dealing with anger that is turned my way.

Thankful for the Lord watching over me

Amy