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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The family is the problem, really???? What??? That can't be right!!!

We have a wonderful large family. We have 6 kids and are thankful and feel very blessed to have them everyday. Okay during some of the loud disagreements I might be a bit frustrated, but hey that's the life of a mom of 6.

It is amazing to me over the years how often I have heard an excuse that has something to do with the size of my family. We do not get invited anywhere. Why?? I have been told a number of times that my family is just so large, and that their house is not set up for kids, well okay I can see that, but you know if someone really cared they could put a few breakables, or heck invite us over for a potluck style picnic outside in the summer. I ALWAYS bring more then enough to feed my kids. Heck I would bring everything, just be our friends. Not a one in our church invites us over.

We could not find a place to live. I made call after call. The house would be big enough, we would have the money ready to go, everything seemed fine, and then the question that kills it all and they back peddle as fast as they can, DO YOU HAVE KIDS?? Yes, Oh how many 6. Oh you could never fit in this house. A house I just saw and know we could fit in. Or Ummmm well we have 3 other people who have looked at it and we will get back to you. I NEVER got calls back.

WE finally found a house in Tennessee. It was a pit. We had to replace the whole kitchen as the cupboards were riddled with termites, and mold. The roof had mold eating through and centipedes would drop down on you in the shower. That's what my precious children had to live with. The heater did not work EVER. She would not fix it. We heated the house with the oven and fans. The water line broke. 15,000 gallons of water ran down the hill we lived on. WE called and called. She never answered. My husband and his dad finally had to go out, dig a hole in the mud in the middle of winter and fix it himself. She never paid him back or paid the water bill. This is what my family is stuck with. Thankfully we finally have a good house here in Kansas.

We get horrified looks when we go into eat somewhere. People see all of our kids and make assumptions. What they don't know about my kids is that they LOVE to eat, LOL. 5 hungry boys and 1 girl. They also enjoy eating out and they know that rotten behaviour will not be tolerated. We have been approached so many times from people after we have set down and they kids are eating. They all tell us that they can't believe how good our kids are, they they would never take their kids, grand kids, nieces or nephews whatever out to eat, as they can not behave.

Now most recently, my husband was told from his band that they felt they needed to find a new drummer, as they felt it was best for our family. WHAT???????? Again blame it on the family. Our family has never once held up the band from anything. A concert in Michigan, on my birthday, my husband was there, band practice on our anniversary, my husband was there, practices and shows on weekends close to kids birthdays he was there.

WHY, because we all enjoyed the band and the music and felt that it was something worthwhile. Something good, something we were all proud of, and we wanted to make it as easy as possible for my husband to be able to be there. So we made it work and not one of us had a problem. We never once complained. We liked it. I enjoyed the guys and their families, and was finally able to go with my husband to some of the shows. It was fun. My boys had been able to go to some shows, and they had fun. We were so proud of the band, that my entire family got Staynlis stuff for Christmas, all the guys got t-shirts, and then Cd's for the whole family. The kids sometimes just went to practice to hang around and watch. So again our family is being held against us.

Psalm 127:3-7
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are son's born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128 1-6
Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor, blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house, your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord. May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life, may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.


It is amazing how to God having children is a blessing, and they ARE. But to people in the world, and well heck other Christians, if you have a family, then your a nuisance or a liability. Sometimes it is harder to feel blessed then others. And so you sit alone, and wait and hope that someday someone will stop using your family as an excuse to drop you.

I hope that perhaps if you are in the same boat as I am, you can take some relief in knowing your not alone. However if you are one of those people who just don't invite those of us with families over, perhaps you might take from this a lesson, about how hurtful it is to some of us. And perhaps you might be able to become someone who can change this for someone you know. Come on invite a family over be their friend.

5 comments:

JLynnette (Aunt Jo) said...

How awful! Why would anyone shun a family because of it's size? I just don't understand it at all.

I, myself, come from a large family of 8 kids and would never ever not befriend someone because they had a large family.

Honey, pack that family up and get over here. We'll have a cookout and be friends. Who needs those people anyway.

Beemoosie said...

Wow, I would have never even thought of that kind of prejudice!
I am an only child and have always envied large families!

You are right, children are a blessing from God!, We'll all head to Aunt Jo's and have a good time!

JLynnette (Aunt Jo) said...

Happy Easter from my family to yours. God bless and keep you.

Anonymous said...

As the mother of eight, I know exactly what you are talking about. It seems the only people who open their homes are other large families. We do not have a large home, but we have always welcomed groups both large and small. With 10 in the family what's another 10,20,60, or more!! (yes we have had that many here). Hang in there sister, heaven has not limit on how many may sit at the Lord's table. What a glorious day that will be. I will see you there with, God willing, all these children!!

Holly said...

Sigh and hugs. Certainly a comment on how our society's values have changed isn't it? We have 4 which I don't consider a large number (especially around most homeschooling circles) and yet we still get some of this as well! A dear friend was having problems finding a babysitter as she had 5 and 3 were under 2 at the time! (adoptions,pregnancies). I am sure though that the Lord smiles on large quivers and you will have more people to pass on your values to than those with smaller families.

Hugs and blessings!