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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I had posted about a month ago that I hoped soon to be able to post more like I used to. Well, we can see how well that is working out for me, LOL!!! Let me start by saying again that I believe God has plans for me and my children, good ones. I know He wants the best for us. I am however at a point of struggling to hang onto that. In the last year, my husband of nearly 18 years found someone else he wanted to be with so he jumped ship leaving our family.

His family all turned on me and even befriended this woman and apparently everyone is happy now. He then left the state and moved to California where she lived, and in that I had to cut my hours at work because my children were falling apart. Although he and she have moved here, leaving her kids behind in California until school is out, he is living where he can not have the kids over. But we were hanging in here.. They had been doing better as I was here when they got home and able to give them more hugs and love before I left for work. It was working....

We moved into this house 2 years ago and thought we were finally able to be settled then the woman who we thought we could trust never made a single payment with the 740 a month we paid her to live here, to be able to buy the house and the house was repossessed. Then the divorce thing... Well in September Freddie Mac offered to rent me the house.... I agreed thinking my children would be better staying here. So we waited and waited. The heater went out.... We had no heat, I called apparently the voice mail for the realtor handling the house was not working and she never got my message. So we wait and wait....

Finally I call again and she says oh I will get someone there. Well they come they say they fixed it, but it is not working. They come look at it again and say needs replaced..... I am informed they have to get other bids and permission from Freddie Mac to fix anything else...blah blah blah....long story short..a number of months go by. The coldest months of winter. I have space heaters going and the oven running 24/7 and huge over 600 dollar electric bills to try and keep my kids warm...

You might say why not move, well as a single mom of 6 who does not have a high paying job and who's now ex is not consistent on his child support and who is told repeatedly by everyone she calls about houses OH you can not fit 6 kids in a 3 bedroom you have to have at least 4 or 5 and I don't have anything. And unfortunately all of those lower income house apartments and things again only 3 bedrooms and I am told they can not have this many people in there. Well that's why.

So we were blessed by a group from here in town including the middle school principle, and others from the schools, a local realtor, and farmers. The realtor, bought a wood stove, the middle school principle and his family installed it, a farmer and another gentleman donated enough wood for the winter and a whole group stayed and cut it to the right size and stacked it. So my children were warm.

Eventually, Freddie Mac got a heater put in. I was then informed I think in February that Freddie Mac would have to test the house for any lead paint as I have 2 kiddos under 8. And then that is the last I heard of it until 2 weeks ago, when I was sent papers saying I was evicted. I called the lawyers for Freddie Mac and asked what on earth. I was told I did not cooperate with the realtor or allow them to list or show the house. I said ummm no never happened. She says well I will check into it. I wait a couple of days and get no call back. So I called her again and she starts threatening me with them locking me out of the house in 3 days and I did not cooperate and I said no one has ever called me and even if they lost my phone numbers the very clearly have my address. Well, I am not going to believe you I am going to believe them, I was told.

So I call the sheriffs department and am told that they can find not information on it. So I take the papers in and the sheriff looks them over and say these are not real. Freddie Mac sent me papers that had not been filled to try to scare me out of the house. See they bought the house back for 90,000 at the sheriffs auction. The house is only worth about 59,900 and I figure once they found that out they decided to put not another penny they did not have to into it.

Okay so after all of that, Monday I get actually filed paper work. I will be homeless as of Monday. Just a little over a year ago I had a home, a husband, and happier children.

Now I am divorced, my kids have to hear I don't know alot, and their dad is living his happy little life, and even in desperation I can not send them there to live for a bit, as I mentioned he can not have the kids where he is living, not that I want either of them raising my children. I had to sit in a court room Monday and hear this man and his lawyer give excuses why he could not take care of his children. He does not have enough money, he can't have them where he lives, he is remarried ...blah blah blah..... So after this weekend I do not know where we are going. We have no home to go to.

I have often wondered about how people have ended up homeless and now I know. It seems easy to just say get a job and find a house. I HAVE a job and am looking at having no where to go. I worry about ending up in my car. And it becomes a downward spiral. How do I work with my kids having no where to be? So if it is warm, my oldest 3 could take the kids to the park, but everyday? I mean it is only a block from where I work and then what?? It can't go on forever. So we can move around and camp, but if I do not stay near my job then I end up with no job and then what? You have to have an address for things to get to you. SIGH

SO many concerns. I need to get busy. We are moving things into storage now. I trust that God has an answer. I guess sometimes my concern is that I know God wants the best for my kids and me, but does he not want the best for all of those others who end up homeless and in their cars? I watched the movie The Pursuit of Happiness when it came out and cried for that man and his son.... I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I could be looking at that for myself and my children.

Trusting in God
Be Blessed

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