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Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Signs of Fall

We have had such wonderful weather here the last few months....We have been blessed. It has seemed like fall is here a bit earlier then usual this year. On Sunday morning with drove though fog to get to church. The weather has remained cool. We have had a number of grey rainy days. I so want to get out all of my fall decorations and decorate the house with the leaves and scarecrows and pumpkins. I enjoy doing that with the season.

However this year I will not be decorating my house. I still do not have anywhere to go. I was contacted by a realtor last week letting me know that Fannie Mae wants me out by the 15th I believe she said. I have been unable to get any information on who to contact about getting until the end of the month. I will be renting a storage unit this week and starting to put all of our stuff in it, how handy that there is one right across the street, saves on renting a trailer, as I can no longer use both of the back doors of my suburban because of someone trying to break into it, so I can't fit alot into the back now. I have made numerous calls and been unable to track down anyone who can actually talk to me about this.

I know God has a plan for me and my kids. I trust him, but to say I am not a bit worried would not be totally truthful. I am worried a bit. LOL... I have no money as I have yet to receive any child support it is hard to make ends meet. I had a 500 dollar electric bill, plus 5 kids to enroll in school and buy school stuff for, as I can no longer home school. I do not have enough time in the day. Plus all the other bills and necessities...So I have no savings, no prospect on a house, and am running out of time.

Also I am struggling with making all these decisions alone... I do not want to mess up. I do not want to make my children struggle or suffer anymore then they already are. Not that I have alot of choices left to me. I KNOW that God could work it out for us to have a nice house in the country where the kids could keep their pets and I could keep my dogs...Is He going to?? I am not sure I do not begin to imagine I can totally understand His plans. I know He has them...

Gotta run,
Amy Ellen


redink said...

I am praying for you. This is the hard part...the part where it looks like an avalanche is over your head ready to bury you.
It isn't, believe me.
I faced all those things and every single one worked out...but only as I needed it most.
It's like manna. You can only get what you need to get through that particular day or crisis. But each time the Lord provides, your strength and faith will grow.

Don't worry about trying to be strong. Get as much support as you can.
Stand on a street corner and sing out your troubles if it comes to that. I've learned I get a lot more help if I ask around.

I don't know your legal situation well, and I'm sure you can't post too much of it on your blog. But most states do hold husbands accountable for supporting ex-wives and their children.

I went to a 12-step program called Al-Anon after my husband left. It's a support group for people who have been affected by another person's addictions. It helped me tremendously, not only to let go of my husband's crazy behavior, but it put me in touch with people who had been through it all. They had all the resources I needed to get through this.
I got the name of a good lawyer who works pro bono for women in my situation.
Just the threat of the lawyer secured our home. So sometimes that's all it takes.

As for homeschooling, I did have to put my two oldest in public school...still not too happy about it. But it is actally cheaper to homeschool. School fees and clothes and gas and food...public school is costly. Again, I don't know the legalities of your situation, but homeschooling would help the kid's emotional and mental state as well if you feel you can do it.

But please don't put anymore on your shoulders than necessary right now. If they have to go to public school, they have to go and it will work out.

You can apply for discounts on school fees and lunches if you need to. Public school should have forms offering you exemptions and things like that depending on your income.
Bills are bills, they're always there. Just take one day at a time...even if you need to take one hour at a time. Get through that before you tackle the future.
It's too overwhelming.

Try to let go, Amy, and just do what's in front of you.
The next will come after that and you can think on it then.
Know that God has put people around you who will help...reach out.
Know also, that is it very wrong for a husband to abandon his family...very wrong. You are allowed to be angry about it and you have every right to ask for whatever you need to get through this.
If you need to talk more, just let me know. I've been where you are. I've come out the other side.
...It will be okay.
God loves you. Your well-being matters to Him.

Suze said...

I just found your blog. I will be praying for you double time!! Julia above, it seems, has the best advice.

Love and Hugs - and PRAYERS!!