Well I just kinda realized that my blog name is kind of deceiving... my life in Kansas has not been very life like lately. I am hoping that soon once things even out I can get back to posting like I used to before my whole life to a nose dive, more interesting stories and some good pictures. Ahh but who knows only God knows what He has planned. Lately I am just along for the ride and just when it seems like it is getting higher up and maybe above the valleys for a bit, it seems to come crashing back down. I know that my life may be like that for awhile. I can hardly expect the love for someone for 20 years to disappear overnight or even in a year, which is how long I have been going through this. I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find myself wishing he would just stay away in California where he is with his new wife and family. But with continued talks of him moving back here with them it makes me feel like being ill. I am praying for strength, courage and also a decent attitude. Lord help me....
Hugs
Amy
About Me
- Amy Ellen
- Hi, I am me... I am a mom with a great sense of humor, a kind heart, a giving spirit, a desire to please, and enough strength to keep on going even when life knocks me down... I am me... : )
Friday, February 26, 2010
MMMMMMM Strawberries
One of our CNA's at work had a birthday yesterday. She is one of the teenagers that work there. So I decided to take in a cake for her birthday. It turned out very delicious. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy Valentines Day
While I am no longer married to my Tony.. I am reposting this as I often need a reminder that while I do not have the love of my husband and friend anymore...
More importantly I am blessed with the never ending most complete and true love there is the love of my heavenly Father.
LOVE
Today is Valentines Day and what do we think of when we think of Valentines Day? Candy maybe, flowers, cards perhaps, jewelry, and of course Love. There are many different kinds of love. For instance there is the love we have for our first huggy toy or blankie, that our parents probably wish they could toss out. Something we never even wanted washed. For us at that point it was a true and everlasting love.
We of course have the love for our pets. A kitty or puppy for some perhaps a lizard or even birds for others. Although personally I do like my pets fuzzy. And of course our love was returned unashamedly and unreservedly by our pets. Isn't that a wonderful love.
Then we often stumbled into puppy love. Awwwww. The love we often have for a childhood friend. Perhaps the person was your best friend or maybe even someone you never ever talked to. Maybe this other person loved you right back. Puppy love can hang on for a long time. Some of these "puppy" loves can last a lifetime. Through all the school years until the can marry and hopefully live happily ever after.
Of course then we grow up, or so we think and we fall in love in high school. This can be so dramatic. I met the young man I dated through high school at church. We hung around for awhile giving each other all of those mushy looks kids can give each other. Kinda hinted around through others that we liked each other. And finally at a Family Church Camp, we were sitting by each other and the preacher said he wanted everyone to hold each others hand for prayer.
Well he took my hand and long story short we dated through high school and then married and had 6 kids. I am so thankful for my husband and love him alot. So now we have the until death do us part love which is strong, compelling, even overwhelming at times. The belonging to and with another person, that's a big thing, and exciting thing a frustrating thing, and then an eventually, sad thing either due to a divorce or the until death do us part stuff comes along.
Okay going on then you have the love for your babies, sigh.... I will never forget the first time I saw my babies sweet little round faces. The sudden and complete falling in love with a little scrap of a person! I never wanted to put them down. I cuddled them all next to me all night until they slept through the night on their own. This is another love that is exciting and often frustrating. As babies become independent toddlers and then go off to school and then become teenagers that all of a sudden know everything and we as parents suddenly become some of the dumbest people on the planet!
We also have the love for our family that is important and changes as we grow. Our parents are everything when we are babies. We do become less dependent on them as we grow, but love them none the less. Now the love for our siblings that is another tough love. Sometimes it does not feel much like love but more like well let's just say extreme dislike. Perhaps your sister kept taking your clothes, or maybe you were kind of mean and teased your sister alot about everything. This doesn't mean we don't love them, just that were kids. We love our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all of who supply us with love. Large games of hid and seek with all the cousins, grandmas hot homemade rolls, the time just spent together because you love each other. What a blessing love for and from our family is.
As we have grown up we find friends along the way. Special friends who can help cheer you up when you need it and who need you to do the same when they have a down day. To have a friend to love you and one to love back is a special thing indeed. To have someone who will put up with you when you can't even put up with yourself, that is an awesome love. I believe God put those special friends there because he knew we needed each other.
As wonderful as all these loves are there is a love that has no comparison. God's love. God's love will never die. He never decides, well Amy did not come to church today so I am not going to care about her anymore. God wants the best for us and loves us so much that he sent his own and only son to die for us. So that we would not have to pay the wages of sin ourselves. A firey burning pit in hell. That's how much he loves us. I know I could never do that. I love you all, but I could not sacrifice my son, my child for you. Sacrifice myself, maybe....
God's love is everlasting. Kids grow up and move away, not that they don't love you but they aren't there everyday to say it. Friends often leave, families get busy, husband or wives may divorce or eventually pass away, but God's love is here forever. No matter how mad at the world we get, or even if we have managed to make the whole rest of the world mad at us, God will love us. No matter what we do we can't make him hate us. He may hate what we do, but he will love us forever. His arms will always be there. We just have to let him carry us.
So even if you did not get a dozen roses, a thousand pounds of candy, diamond jewelry, or even if you are alone and think no one cares, you are indeed loved. You are blessed enough to have the best, most awesome, complete, never failing, will never leave you nor forsake you, beyond death, love that you can imagine. The most important love of all, God's Love!!!
Happy Valentines Day.
Hugs
Amy
More importantly I am blessed with the never ending most complete and true love there is the love of my heavenly Father.
LOVE
Today is Valentines Day and what do we think of when we think of Valentines Day? Candy maybe, flowers, cards perhaps, jewelry, and of course Love. There are many different kinds of love. For instance there is the love we have for our first huggy toy or blankie, that our parents probably wish they could toss out. Something we never even wanted washed. For us at that point it was a true and everlasting love.
We of course have the love for our pets. A kitty or puppy for some perhaps a lizard or even birds for others. Although personally I do like my pets fuzzy. And of course our love was returned unashamedly and unreservedly by our pets. Isn't that a wonderful love.
Then we often stumbled into puppy love. Awwwww. The love we often have for a childhood friend. Perhaps the person was your best friend or maybe even someone you never ever talked to. Maybe this other person loved you right back. Puppy love can hang on for a long time. Some of these "puppy" loves can last a lifetime. Through all the school years until the can marry and hopefully live happily ever after.
Of course then we grow up, or so we think and we fall in love in high school. This can be so dramatic. I met the young man I dated through high school at church. We hung around for awhile giving each other all of those mushy looks kids can give each other. Kinda hinted around through others that we liked each other. And finally at a Family Church Camp, we were sitting by each other and the preacher said he wanted everyone to hold each others hand for prayer.
Well he took my hand and long story short we dated through high school and then married and had 6 kids. I am so thankful for my husband and love him alot. So now we have the until death do us part love which is strong, compelling, even overwhelming at times. The belonging to and with another person, that's a big thing, and exciting thing a frustrating thing, and then an eventually, sad thing either due to a divorce or the until death do us part stuff comes along.
Okay going on then you have the love for your babies, sigh.... I will never forget the first time I saw my babies sweet little round faces. The sudden and complete falling in love with a little scrap of a person! I never wanted to put them down. I cuddled them all next to me all night until they slept through the night on their own. This is another love that is exciting and often frustrating. As babies become independent toddlers and then go off to school and then become teenagers that all of a sudden know everything and we as parents suddenly become some of the dumbest people on the planet!
We also have the love for our family that is important and changes as we grow. Our parents are everything when we are babies. We do become less dependent on them as we grow, but love them none the less. Now the love for our siblings that is another tough love. Sometimes it does not feel much like love but more like well let's just say extreme dislike. Perhaps your sister kept taking your clothes, or maybe you were kind of mean and teased your sister alot about everything. This doesn't mean we don't love them, just that were kids. We love our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all of who supply us with love. Large games of hid and seek with all the cousins, grandmas hot homemade rolls, the time just spent together because you love each other. What a blessing love for and from our family is.
As we have grown up we find friends along the way. Special friends who can help cheer you up when you need it and who need you to do the same when they have a down day. To have a friend to love you and one to love back is a special thing indeed. To have someone who will put up with you when you can't even put up with yourself, that is an awesome love. I believe God put those special friends there because he knew we needed each other.
As wonderful as all these loves are there is a love that has no comparison. God's love. God's love will never die. He never decides, well Amy did not come to church today so I am not going to care about her anymore. God wants the best for us and loves us so much that he sent his own and only son to die for us. So that we would not have to pay the wages of sin ourselves. A firey burning pit in hell. That's how much he loves us. I know I could never do that. I love you all, but I could not sacrifice my son, my child for you. Sacrifice myself, maybe....
God's love is everlasting. Kids grow up and move away, not that they don't love you but they aren't there everyday to say it. Friends often leave, families get busy, husband or wives may divorce or eventually pass away, but God's love is here forever. No matter how mad at the world we get, or even if we have managed to make the whole rest of the world mad at us, God will love us. No matter what we do we can't make him hate us. He may hate what we do, but he will love us forever. His arms will always be there. We just have to let him carry us.
So even if you did not get a dozen roses, a thousand pounds of candy, diamond jewelry, or even if you are alone and think no one cares, you are indeed loved. You are blessed enough to have the best, most awesome, complete, never failing, will never leave you nor forsake you, beyond death, love that you can imagine. The most important love of all, God's Love!!!
Happy Valentines Day.
Hugs
Amy
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